♫ If We Couldn't Laugh We Would All Go Insane! ♫

    Well, it's been a little over a month now since I made my descent on East Asia, and I am finally beginning to feel settled and comfortable here. I know where I live, I know how to get around to various parts of town/other cities, and I have made my presence known with the kids at school, so things are starting to feel more or less like normal life...... mostly. 

In case you were wondering.

    There are still some things, however, that I really am not sure I will ever get used to. Namely, the subtle bluntness of the people here. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Subtle bluntness?! That's an oxymoron, Laurie. You're either subtle, or you are blunt, but definitely not both!" If you are thinking this, however, you clearly have not been to Korea. These people have mastered the art of telling you exactly how they feel, without actually telling you exactly what they mean - and if you think that sounds outrageously unnerving, you would be correct! Allow me to explain......

    On the day that I arrived in the ROK, one of the first people I was introduced to was Number 1, my principal. He was very kind to me, bowing ever so gracefully and giving me a wide grin. And then.... he spoke. A brief blurb of Korean flowed from his mouth as he smiled and nodded. I smiled back at him blankly and then turned to Claire for help. She looked at me and told me very straightforwardly, "He says you are much better looking than your picture." Um...... Thanks?! Now, he doesn't actually speak any English, so it is inevitable that some things might get lost in translation, so I took this with a grain of salt and decided to move forward amicably. The next gesture, however, was even more confusing! He quickly walked over to his desk and pulled 3 packages from beneath it. He scurried back over to me, packages in hand, and again gently bowed as he presented me with his treasures. Another quick blurb of Korean and then Claire said to me, "He says, 'One for your face and one for your feet. And one for your health.'" I looked down at what he had given me and discovered that it was two hand towels and an exercise strechy band. Ok.... what you're saying is that I need to exercise and bathe? Woooow. Kamsamnida. ....Not!

As seen in a previous post: The gifts from Number 1
(Included here for dramatic effect)

    Later that afternoon, I met many of the teachers here at Jidong elementary, most of whom do not speak much English, if any, so Claire again was relaying messages to me. I think the most received "compliment" I got was, "Oh! You have such a narrow face!" but it only slightly outnumbered the "Oh, you have such large eyes" comment. Ah, a narrow face and large eyes... Thank you! Nice to meet you too! Later I learned that Korean women judge beauty based on how narrow your face is and how large your eyes are because they are very interested in western culture and fashion, and they believe that the "typical Asian" broad cheekbones and almond-shaped eyes are not as desirable as more "Caucasian" features. So, apparently these were compliments. 

    I also found out (very quickly) that it is customary to ask many probing questions when you meet someone new because the people here are very concerned with status and hierarchy. They ask you things they think are important to know so that they can mentally place you in their personal hierarchy. So when they first meet you, literally I'm talkin' like the first words out of their mouth will often be something along the lines of a How-Awkward-Can-I-Make-You-Feel version of 20 Questions. Most of my first week in-country was consumed with, "Are you married?" "Do you have boyfriend?" "Do you have children?" "What is your blood type?" "How old are you?" "How tall are you?" "How much do you weigh?" "What does your father do?" "Why aren't you married?" and so on. I love the look I get when I tell them I am 26 and single. Pure astonishment (mixed with a small dose of disapproval). Rad. 
    As time has gone on, there have been many other exciting encounters with this kind of bluntness such as the time Aekyung was looking at some of the pictures on my camera, pointed to what I thought was a pretty decent picture of me and said, "Is this you?? Oh, no no. So much better in real life!" Ummm... thanks. I'm never having my picture taken again! I also enjoyed the way my students pulled and pinched at my arm hairs during the first week of school shouting, "Teacher! Teacher! Yellow!! Why??" and shaking their heads at the blonde hairs on my arms. Sorry... were they supposed to be a different color?? And I'm pretty sure I'll never forget the student who said to me, "Laurie Teacher.... you will have a baby soon, yes?" Great. You have single-handedly killed my appetite for lunch. Thanks, kid.

     So far my favorite encounters, though, have been with Number 1. I still don't quite understand him. As if my introduction wasn't enough, his pre-Chuseok gesture definitely fit the bill. He summoned me, via Claire, to his office and presented me with a large gift set (which are super popular here in Korea and you can buy them in thousands of varieties in all the major stores).

Everything from toothpaste to SPAM - it's a cornucopia of pre-packaged goodness!

I was very grateful for the gift as I know that he is not required to be so thoughtful or treat me so well, and I know that these gift sets tend to be quite expensive. When I got it home and opened it up, though, my gratefulness faded a bit. Why, you ask? Well.... the box was filled with a bunch of bottles of "Hair Loss Prevention" shampoo and conditioner. Really?? Is this because I cut my bangs and they look terrible or because the ridiculous humidity here makes me look like an electrocuted poodle? Thanks a lot. 

This poodle has in fact been using Number 1's shampoo.... Can you guess where??

    And finally, one of the most recent developments occurred this morning. Every day after lunch, most of the teachers brush their teeth because apparently Koreans are wicked worried about tooth decay. There are posters hanging all over the lunch room describing the various mouth diseases you can contract and about how your teeth will rot if you eat too much candy. I, as well, am moderately concerned about dental health. I mean, I brush my teeth at least twice a day and floss every night before I go to bed, but I don't generally brush after every single meal, though. I guess this has become an issue for my co-teachers because today when I came into work there was a brand new tube of toothpaste sitting on my desk - No note, just sitting there. Then later Young (yes, I've changed the spelling again because apparently I was right the first time, geez!) told me, "Oh! I forgot to tell you! This is yours. You should use it. It's the best!" Oh, um, ok. Thanks.... Sorry to have offended you all with my dragon, lunch-breath! 

    

Hopefully if I brush my teeth with this every day I can look just like Darlie, "All shiny white!

"

    So this, my dear readers, is the art of subtle bluntness and mixed messages. I am confronted with it on a daily basis and yet somehow I am still surprised when someone says or does something totally off-color. Along with mountains of deodorant, they also ought to tell you to pack a rock solid self esteem and a great sense of humor when planning to travel to Korea!

    Don't get me wrong, though. Of course you just have to laugh this stuff off. It's really been great being able to get such a kick out of every-day life! And I also must say that along with this brutal honesty and abrupt subtlety, comes indescribable kindness and generosity. Never have I met a people more giving of their time and efforts in such a selfless manner. I could not ask for a better place in which to be marooned without a common language (or alphabet for that matter!). Everyone here is astonishingly helpful and obliging, and I would not trade them for anything. And to be perfectly honest (...when in Rome, right?) I do have to hand it to the Koreans for having the you-know-whats to tell it like it is!   

    And since we are on the topic of laughter, I recently came across some real gems on YouTube while searching for good videos to show my kids. Because there are so many of them, I will be attaching one to the end of each of my next few posts for your viewing pleasure. Just think of them as Little TidBits of Joy from Korea with Love!

Incidentally, this series will not be shared with the kids.....