Overeating

I want to dedicate this post to all those on the east edge of the Pacific Ocean who've loved me enough to wait out this year.

You are what makes "home" home.

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Life Lesson #318: "Your eyes can be bigger than your stomach for more than just food. Write that down."

    Since arriving in Korea, I have been shocked, awed, amazed, appalled, and everything in between. I have seen new sights, smelled new smells, met new faces, and overall had a completely "foreign" experience. But the whole time I've been battling with the fact that something just doesn't feel quite right. "What's wrong with me? This is the opportunity of a lifetime! How many people get to say they've lived in Korea? You should be stoked, Laurie." And to a certain extent, I am stoked. I've traveled half-way across the world, laughed and played with new and wonderful friends, learned to read a new language, seen countless novelties, and made my small mark on the Asian continent, but at the end of the day, there is still a pang of homesickness that just I can't seem to shake. Why...?

    This Christmas, I was lucky enough to get to visit home for two weeks. I left South Korea on Christmas Day, traveled 6,000 miles, and arrived home in San Diego on Christmas Day (shout out to the International Date Line). After a long, turbulent plane ride and approximately 24 hours of travel (including 2 layovers, 1 delay, and 1 full hour of BS American customs) I was finally back in my home town. A giant hug from Dad at the airport, a million more to follow from everyone else, and I knew I could never truly belong anywhere else. The first day I was reunited with my family, my puppy, and my very best friend, and I could not have felt happier. In the following days I was able to spend much anticipated and much needed time with the one I love, reconnect with my perfect friends, and enjoy my amazing family.

    When it came to the end of my trip, urrr well..... let's be honest, most of the time during the trip, I started to battle the idea that another 8 months in Korea was much too much and I simply never would make it. "I can't leave home again! That's preposterous! Look how much love is here in every form. There is just no way that this is the right choice." 

    This thought took me all the way from the goodbyes on Mom and Dad's front porch, through packing my bags, through the tearful hugs and kisses at the airport, through security, through the flight to San Francisco, and all the way to the bridge between the domestic and international terminals at San Francisco airport. It was here that I stopped when I saw two screens: One listing my flight to Korea and one listing a flight back to San Diego. I stood in this spot for a solid 20 minutes, genuinely trying to decide which direction to go.

"I want to go home. I just want to be there with everyone. I don't want to miss anything else!"
"Korea is amazing. You are seeing the world! You are doing things next-to-no-one gets to do!"

"How long do you get to postpone your life before it begins to take on a different shape? This might change everything. Things that do not need to be changed! Let's go home."
"You love your friends in Korea. They love you. You love your kids. They need you. Go. Back."

    The decision I ultimately made is clear (or if not: I did come back to Korea....) and I know it to be the right one. But it's the reason why I made that choice that is my point. I finally decided that yes, 8 more months is definitely much too much, however, I will make it through because this is the commitment that I signed up for when I started, and that's just what I do. I also decided that while 8 months is much too long, Korea is in fact an amazing opportunity and I will forever be happy to have come, but not because of the opportunity.... it's because of what it has taught me about myself. I love to travel. I love to see new places, and meet new people, and expand and improve myself. However, from now on, my kind of travel involves leaving home for no more than 2 months at a time and with no fewer than 1 staple companion with whom to adventure. My kind of travel must be significant, yet brief, and it must be done in great company.

    When you eat too much, it makes you feel sick. And your first thought might be, "Wow. That was a mistake. I should never have eaten." But you would be wrong. It's not the eating that was the mistake, it was the amount you ate. For me, this too applies to travel. I started to feel [home]sick and thought that perhaps Korea was a mistake. I should have never come. But I was wrong. I have finally come to realize that it wasn't the traveling that was the mistake, I love where I am and I love what I've done. It was just the amount. 

    The real meaning behind Life Lesson #318??? Simply because I aspire to see large portions of the world, that doesn't mean I must take large portions in order to do it. Write that down.