Monkey See, Monkey Do, Monkey Pick Up Strange Habits

    Have you ever watched yourself pick up a habit that you know is bad? You know you're doing it, and you know you're beginning to do it more often, but for whatever reason, it falls to the bottom of your list of things to avoid and you allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into habit-forming behavior. Yeah, we've all done it. "I really need to stop saying 'like' so much" or "I've gotta stop talking with my hands when I'm on the phone" or "I have got to quit tucking my shirt into my underwear!" What?? Oh. Anyway, things like that. The point is, sometimes the habits we pick up are not always awesome.

    Over the past 3 months, I have noticed a few habits starting to form in me. Things that I am pretty sure are not gonna fly when I get back home. As if my friends don't make fun of me enough simply for my Laurie-isms (you know who you are.... and you know what you do) I know that if I come back with crazy Korean-isms I will be sure to raise far more eyebrows than normal. I figured I would go ahead and explain my habits to you now so that upon my return, you might be a little more understanding of my otherwise strange behavior (or, and perhaps more likely, this will give you a leg-up on future Having Fun While Mentioning Laurie* sessions....).  
    When English is your first language, there are many liberties taken that you don't really notice on a regular basis, ie: slang, contractions, idioms, etc. However, when you become surrounded by people for whom English is a second language at best, you immediately become aware of the way that you speak. Since day one, I have been making a conscious effort on a moment-to-moment basis to be sure that what I am saying is being understood. Therefore, I tend to speak a little more slowly, clearly, and using the simplest form of words I can think of. Not because I feel that those around me are inferior or dumb, but simply because I know that using jargon-packed or fanciful vocabulary can be confusing to those who are not used to the language. The only problem with this is that now when I am around my English-speaking friends, the ones who hail from English-speaking countries and are native speakers, I tend to hang on to this simplistic style of speaking. I find myself trying to tell stories and ruining them because I am wracking my brain to come up with the simplest way to say something. Hello..... they speak English, Laurie! And not only that, but it's even starting to go as far as to spill over into my conversational forethought. Just the other day I was doing my make-up and I noticed that the free-sample of mascara I got before leaving home (which I love) is running low, so I will need to pick up some more when I am home next. I sat there trying to work out in my mind how I would describe what I want to the lady behind the cosmetics counter. Finally I came up with the idea to bring the sample tube of mascara along with me to the store, point to it, and try my best to ask for its equal using gestures and broken English. Then, it came to me. Laurie, when you go to the store to get more mascara, the woman at the store will speak English. Do not, under any circumstances, bring the tube of mascara and make gestures at her like some kind of ape.

    Another aspect of being surrounded by English Language Learners is just that: they are learning English. This means that the way they speak to you and the phrases that they use, more often than not, come straight out of the text book from which they were taught. Therefore, many things that are said are not always common, not always used correctly, or even used at all in most English speaking countries. So please, try your best not to laugh if upon my return you ask me how I am and I say "So-so" or, if we go somewhere and I inform you that I am tired and need to "take a rest" or, if you know that I need to do something, but instead I tell you that I "should" do it or, even if we have known each other for quite some time and when you say hi to me I respond with, "Hello! Nice to meet you!" Just know that it is something I've been bombarded with on a daily basis for months on end and therefore, my adoption of it was inevitable.
    Not only is language contagious, but mannerisms are as well. There are many mannerisms that here in Korea are simply commonplace, yet back at home would seem strange at the least. For example, bowing. Now, ever since I first decided to come to Korea, I knew that bowing was going to be an issue for me. I simply cannot find a way to feel comfortable doing it, yet it is a necessary evil because if I don't bow, I can be conceived as rude. So I have been struggling with and stressing over the execution of my bow since day one and although the movement is beginning to be a bit more subconscious, I can just tell that it is still not a good color on me. Along with bowing comes two-handed-ness. This refers to the way that Koreans use two hands (as a sign of respect) when pouring, passing, or receiving things. I have picked up on this quickly, because again, don't want to come across as rude, and so I know I am bound to pull a few two-handed maneuvers upon my return. Don't. Laugh.

    The final item I would like to discuss with you is also a mannerism, but it is so abhorent that I feel it deserves its own paragraph. So now, I must warn you about..... the "Dreaded Ex-uh."

 This is something that is horrible, contagious, and overwhelmingly embarrassing. Deep breath..... Ok. Here goes. In Korea, when people are trying to tell you that the answer to your inquiry or statement is negative, they like to use body language to help them get their point across. That means, that if they are trying to tell you "No" in any way, shape, or form, they will usually cross their fingers, hands, or even their arms (depending on how dramatic they are feeling) in front of them like an "X" to let you know you are being denied. Teachers use it. Students use it. People everywhere in the community use it. It is absolutely unavoidable (and, unfortunately, so is picking up the habit yourself). I have been caught red-handed several times by my English-speaking friends performing the "Dreaded Ex-uh" and every time I've wanted to cry. It is not cool. It is not sexy. And it is not in any way okay. But, I want you to know, I am currently running a self-treatment plan, and hope to be free of the "Ex-uh" within the month.
    All of these things, I have found, are contagious amongst most foreign English teachers I have met, and often we laugh about how much we are going to regret picking up these habits once we return home. Hopefully, now that I have front-loaded the issue with you all, my eventual transition back to normalcy will not be quite as painful. Or perhaps I've just made a huge mistake here.........




*Awhile back while "making fun" of someone, said person asked me if I was, in fact, making fun of them. In an attempt to lighten the blow of truth, I explained my acts not as "making fun" but as "having fun while mentioning that person." The saying kind of stuck with our circle of friends because we liked how it is effective in both telling the truth (We are having fun and we are mentioning you) and avoiding the truth (Yes, I was in fact making fun of you). But really it stuck because, let's be honest, it got a lot of use being that we "make a lot of fun" in our circle.